Feeling good has never felt so, well, good! I'll be moving from a liquid diet to a liquid diet plus squishy vegetables. Basically instead of throwing away the veggies used in making my magic broth I'll be eating them. It's sad that the idea of overcooked, boiled vegetables is appealing. And another boon - I get to eat fresh berries. Oh yeah, berries. Fresh ones. A friend was lovely and went to the store to pick me up some blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries. On my daily walk I picked up some blackberries just to round it out. I snuck one in on the way home, a day early. Don't tell anyone!
Day 5 - 147.4 lbs
Repeat of Day 4 happiness though with slightly less energy. Not much to report other than I'm cruising through all that Amazon Instant Video has to offer, and am coming to a close on the Inspector Lewis series. At least I'm almost finished with what is available for free. Miss Marple, check, Poirot, check. At least the scene out my window has been lovely. Rainier popping out from the city scape as the majestic giant it is.
Day 6 - 147.8 lbs
Same again. Feeling pretty darn chipper though with less energy than Day 5. Looking forward to eating but concerned that happiness might be short-lived. I stayed up late making new, improved (w/veggies) broth avoided cheating on the ingredients, narrowly. I feel like ginger could have been a helpful addition, for digestion and flavor, but I stuck to the boring, sad recipe. I'll follow the rules as it would be silly to call results into question now. I'd love to add some garlic but it hurts some people as much as it helps others so I'm afraid it will have to wait.
Day 7 - 147.8 lbs
First day of actual food. Super grateful to have berries. Not excited about how I felt after attempting "breakfast". Nausea and mild pain as food hit. Not fair. I was able to finish my soup at lunch without incident so I'm hoping it was meet and greet jitters. Stomach, meet food. Food, meet stomach. I think you used to have a lot in common! Chat amongst yourselves while I get drinks.
Hoping the past few days of good feeling and no pain will be the first steps to a better normal.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Halfway There
I bought a scale last month because even though I felt like I was losing weight my clothes were getting more and more uncomfortable. It got to the point that I couldn't wear any pants, shorts, or fitted skirts. Thank goodness it is summer. I can hike up skirts higher to accommodate my ballooned waste and wear loose dresses. Trouble was, I didn't have very many of either of those. Instead of buying a fat bloat wardrobe I actually ended up borrowing a friend's maternity outfit that she didn't need anymore. The pants were amazing (even if too short) because of that fabulous, gigantic front panel. It was supportive but not tight like pantyhose can be. It reminds me of an episode of a comedy show where the wife gives her husband "Thanksgiving pants" so he can be comfortable at the holiday table while stuffing himself stupid. They were maternity slacks of course. Brilliant. I did end up buying three new dresses, one mu-mu-ish and two with drop wastes that had ruching and/or gathering. I think I can survive the summer now. If this is still an issue in the Autumn I'll have to reassess. Maybe a wool mu-mu? I'd better work on my sewing skills
Day 3 - 148.8 lbs
In mid-June I was ~165 lbs so to me the loss of four pounds over the past few days is not as dramatic as what I know I was a little over a month ago. I fit a bit better into pants but not enough to want to wear them for more than an hour. You'd think that fifteen pounds would make a difference. Mind you, pre-bloating extravaganza my clothes fit at 165 lbs. Anyway, cooped up in my apartment it doesn't matter what I wear as no one is here to see me. I still try to get out once a day and it's bittersweet. Lovely to be moving around in the fresh air but still surprising how hard simple things are - like crossing the street before the signal goes. Felt much better as the day went on, my headache subsiding to its usual dull ache by the end of the day instead of a raging inferno of stabbing pain. The only real ordeal was meeting my neighbor's crazy dogs at the elevator again. In April they attacked me as I left the elevator and they were going in. Thank goodness they were leashed as I escaped with a raking instead of bites as the walker attempted to rein them in. This time I was more lucky. I recognized them and said, "No! Not again!", and backed into the elevator (where I had been standing) as far as I could. The walker heard me just as the dogs went berzerk and pulled them back before they could get me. Phew! I notified management both times and the first time they said they didn't have any dogs that matched my description (I sent a picture) living in the building and without knowing what apartment they were in they couldn't do much. They have yet to respond to this incident. I've decided to make a formal complaint. It's just not okay to feel unsafe where I live. The rest of the evening went rather well. I actually had some energy and felt more normal - or at least more of what I think normal should feel like. But that could have been adrenaline...
Day 4 - 148.6 lbs
I still feel chipper so I'm taking that as a good sign. I definitely need the sunglasses while indoors still, but if that's what it takes to keep the headache monster at bay, I'm all for it. The mountain is out and the sky is a blue haze. Going to be lovely today and I can't help but be jealous of all the lucky people out hiking and/or camping right now. Heck, even playing frisbee. Soon I tell you... Soon! The check-in yesterday was a little disappointing. I get to check in with them every day now until they decide to stop the liquid diet. I asked them what parameters they use to determine the end of the fast and they avoided answering the question. They do that a lot and it drives me crazy. It does nothing to instill confidence in them and I've never been a blind follower. I need information people! I've already decided that I won't be re-upping after two months. They want you in for six and I think it's all about money at that point. So far there's nothing they've done that wasn't on my doc's agenda (maybe I already whined about this?) and what they have done has been oodles more expensive. My doc was waiting for my gut to settle down before doing a fast but that never happened. So here I am.
If I didn't feel so light-headed and woozy I'd consider a liquid diet long term as absolutely nothing has made me feel decent for twenty-four hours in the last two years. Scary thought. If nothing else, this brief reprieve has allowed me to think that health is in sight and perhaps being able to go back to work at the end of August is possible. Shocking!
Day 3 - 148.8 lbs
In mid-June I was ~165 lbs so to me the loss of four pounds over the past few days is not as dramatic as what I know I was a little over a month ago. I fit a bit better into pants but not enough to want to wear them for more than an hour. You'd think that fifteen pounds would make a difference. Mind you, pre-bloating extravaganza my clothes fit at 165 lbs. Anyway, cooped up in my apartment it doesn't matter what I wear as no one is here to see me. I still try to get out once a day and it's bittersweet. Lovely to be moving around in the fresh air but still surprising how hard simple things are - like crossing the street before the signal goes. Felt much better as the day went on, my headache subsiding to its usual dull ache by the end of the day instead of a raging inferno of stabbing pain. The only real ordeal was meeting my neighbor's crazy dogs at the elevator again. In April they attacked me as I left the elevator and they were going in. Thank goodness they were leashed as I escaped with a raking instead of bites as the walker attempted to rein them in. This time I was more lucky. I recognized them and said, "No! Not again!", and backed into the elevator (where I had been standing) as far as I could. The walker heard me just as the dogs went berzerk and pulled them back before they could get me. Phew! I notified management both times and the first time they said they didn't have any dogs that matched my description (I sent a picture) living in the building and without knowing what apartment they were in they couldn't do much. They have yet to respond to this incident. I've decided to make a formal complaint. It's just not okay to feel unsafe where I live. The rest of the evening went rather well. I actually had some energy and felt more normal - or at least more of what I think normal should feel like. But that could have been adrenaline...
Day 4 - 148.6 lbs
I still feel chipper so I'm taking that as a good sign. I definitely need the sunglasses while indoors still, but if that's what it takes to keep the headache monster at bay, I'm all for it. The mountain is out and the sky is a blue haze. Going to be lovely today and I can't help but be jealous of all the lucky people out hiking and/or camping right now. Heck, even playing frisbee. Soon I tell you... Soon! The check-in yesterday was a little disappointing. I get to check in with them every day now until they decide to stop the liquid diet. I asked them what parameters they use to determine the end of the fast and they avoided answering the question. They do that a lot and it drives me crazy. It does nothing to instill confidence in them and I've never been a blind follower. I need information people! I've already decided that I won't be re-upping after two months. They want you in for six and I think it's all about money at that point. So far there's nothing they've done that wasn't on my doc's agenda (maybe I already whined about this?) and what they have done has been oodles more expensive. My doc was waiting for my gut to settle down before doing a fast but that never happened. So here I am.
If I didn't feel so light-headed and woozy I'd consider a liquid diet long term as absolutely nothing has made me feel decent for twenty-four hours in the last two years. Scary thought. If nothing else, this brief reprieve has allowed me to think that health is in sight and perhaps being able to go back to work at the end of August is possible. Shocking!
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Liquid Diet Begins
Feels good to have two days under my belt on this fast. Though not a true fast I'm taking in about a gallon of fluids throughout the day. I have a powder to reconstitute four times a day. I can't stand the smell of it so I hold my breath and chug. This is probably not the best idea given that you're supposed to take your time with food and drink to make things easier on your stomach. Next I have some some fiber, just once a day, and then some vitamins either two or three times a day in pill form. And then, the best part of the day, is the veggie broth. It's homemade and from a recipe of the Atlanta clinic but for all that it is the most bland, sad thing... and I love it! It's the only thing that resembles actual food and I find myself counting down minutes until I get to heat up my portion, one bowl twice a day. The recommendation was one to two bowls but it's my only treat. Oh, and I get to have some herbal tea. All told I think I'm getting ~700 calories a day. Not really starving but a far cry from my usual intake. I'm not jazzed about losing wait but it's inevitable. I keep track by weighing myself in the morning, first thing after the obligatory emptying of the bladder.
Day 1 - 153.4 lbs
The first day was a bit rough. One of the worst headaches I've had in a while and it only worsened as the day progressed. Took me two hours to fall asleep last night because of it. Blech. The hunger wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It probably helps that over the last few months feelings of hunger and fullness have either been eclipsed by pain and nausea or my brain/gut forgot what to do in that department. Either way it's nice to not be ravenous during this forced deprivation. I decided to run errands on Day 1 in case I wasn't really able to on subsequent days. This brought about an interesting afternoon. I walked by a bowl of guacamole left out at the workplace of someone I visited and the sight of it was a jolt to my system. I stopped and had a sharp intake of breath, totally an unexpected reaction. I want that. I want that badly. This brought about pangs of regret as I had neglected to include avocados in my last meal. Tragedy. On to my next errand I had to jog a short distance to make a departing bus. I tried to slip in and the doors closed on me! The driver tried to open them from his panel but all it did was do a flutter open and close on my limbs! Except I thought that the doors were really opening so I charged in just as they closed again - on my face! I honestly thought there were going to be rubber smudges on my cheekbone. Now I'm stunned from the door attack, light-headed from the brief jog, and totally rethinking not bringing a water bottle. I was completely dehydrated by the time I got home and my magic broth never tasted so good. And the entire time a crazy summer rain storm was raging. Downtown between tall buildings it felt like a wind tunnel filled with buckets of rain being tossed at you sideways.
Day 2 - 150.6 lbs
Today has been a lot better. I'm more light-headed but the severity of headache is less as is the dehydration factor. I'm supposed to get out every day for a light walk so I headed out during a dry spell. The weather has been much more stable today, thank goodness. I made my way to a nearby park confident in my decision to bring neither a raincoat nor an umbrella and watched the clouds roll by overhead. There seemed to be a fog descending on the city so I decided to head for home. The fog bank ended up being drizzle that had me completely soaked by the time I trudged, oh so slowly uphill, back home. The frustrating thing about all this is that the headache component makes my usual distractions from counting the minutes until magic broth time (tv, internet, reading) very difficult due to eye strain/light sensitivity. I can only stare at the wall so long... I have a lot of books waiting to be read and some small projects too but it'll have to be slow and steady wins the race. Here's hoping sleep comes easier to me tonight. Tomorrow is check-in day and I'm hoping I'll have an end date for the fast rather than a wait and see attitude. They say four to seven days is average so I'm hoping I'm not on the long end of that.
In other news, my propeller plant is blooming and looks really neat.
It's got the same bug infestation that had me tossing out several other plants after failed treatment last month so it's days in the sun are numbered. But for at least a little while I'll let this odd succulent be. I would be super sad if the bugs spread to my goldfish plant so I'm trying to keep it isolated. They look like aphids wrapped in a webby cocoon. They prefer the newest, most tender part of the plants, and insecticidal treatments had no effect. Sad days to lose a plant.
I can't wait to cook again. I thought I'd miss the food more but it is the preparation and anticipation of a good meal that I miss. It's hard for me to watch a movie without a snack so I've been staying away from my favorite films as the association is so strong. Good thing Amazon Prime has loads of shows for me to catch up on! Grammar Police are on vacation this summer so I'm not going to bother with prepositions being positioned appropriately. =P Hasta mañana.
Day 1 - 153.4 lbs
The first day was a bit rough. One of the worst headaches I've had in a while and it only worsened as the day progressed. Took me two hours to fall asleep last night because of it. Blech. The hunger wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It probably helps that over the last few months feelings of hunger and fullness have either been eclipsed by pain and nausea or my brain/gut forgot what to do in that department. Either way it's nice to not be ravenous during this forced deprivation. I decided to run errands on Day 1 in case I wasn't really able to on subsequent days. This brought about an interesting afternoon. I walked by a bowl of guacamole left out at the workplace of someone I visited and the sight of it was a jolt to my system. I stopped and had a sharp intake of breath, totally an unexpected reaction. I want that. I want that badly. This brought about pangs of regret as I had neglected to include avocados in my last meal. Tragedy. On to my next errand I had to jog a short distance to make a departing bus. I tried to slip in and the doors closed on me! The driver tried to open them from his panel but all it did was do a flutter open and close on my limbs! Except I thought that the doors were really opening so I charged in just as they closed again - on my face! I honestly thought there were going to be rubber smudges on my cheekbone. Now I'm stunned from the door attack, light-headed from the brief jog, and totally rethinking not bringing a water bottle. I was completely dehydrated by the time I got home and my magic broth never tasted so good. And the entire time a crazy summer rain storm was raging. Downtown between tall buildings it felt like a wind tunnel filled with buckets of rain being tossed at you sideways.
Day 2 - 150.6 lbs
Today has been a lot better. I'm more light-headed but the severity of headache is less as is the dehydration factor. I'm supposed to get out every day for a light walk so I headed out during a dry spell. The weather has been much more stable today, thank goodness. I made my way to a nearby park confident in my decision to bring neither a raincoat nor an umbrella and watched the clouds roll by overhead. There seemed to be a fog descending on the city so I decided to head for home. The fog bank ended up being drizzle that had me completely soaked by the time I trudged, oh so slowly uphill, back home. The frustrating thing about all this is that the headache component makes my usual distractions from counting the minutes until magic broth time (tv, internet, reading) very difficult due to eye strain/light sensitivity. I can only stare at the wall so long... I have a lot of books waiting to be read and some small projects too but it'll have to be slow and steady wins the race. Here's hoping sleep comes easier to me tonight. Tomorrow is check-in day and I'm hoping I'll have an end date for the fast rather than a wait and see attitude. They say four to seven days is average so I'm hoping I'm not on the long end of that.
In other news, my propeller plant is blooming and looks really neat.
It's got the same bug infestation that had me tossing out several other plants after failed treatment last month so it's days in the sun are numbered. But for at least a little while I'll let this odd succulent be. I would be super sad if the bugs spread to my goldfish plant so I'm trying to keep it isolated. They look like aphids wrapped in a webby cocoon. They prefer the newest, most tender part of the plants, and insecticidal treatments had no effect. Sad days to lose a plant.
I can't wait to cook again. I thought I'd miss the food more but it is the preparation and anticipation of a good meal that I miss. It's hard for me to watch a movie without a snack so I've been staying away from my favorite films as the association is so strong. Good thing Amazon Prime has loads of shows for me to catch up on! Grammar Police are on vacation this summer so I'm not going to bother with prepositions being positioned appropriately. =P Hasta mañana.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Super Fast!
Things have not improved health-wise for me. Much unpleasantness was to be had after the sad departure of Ms. Sugar. Things escalated until I finally heeded my doctor's urging to take medical leave. It's like I have IBS with a side of mono. Pain, nausea, bloating, fatigue, GI distress, sore throat, optical migraines... there seem to be an unlimited number of diagnosis codes from which to choose for insurance claims. I'm checking off every test my doctor can think of and so far the good news is no pathological cause. This is fantastic because it means I don't have obvious cancer or any other condition that might require hospitalization or surgery. It is also terrible because that leaves tricky pathological condition and/or functional issues. I've decided to let the MDs focus on the pathology and I'll focus on the functional medicine.
I found myself some quacks (in Atlanta of all places) to work on zeroing and re-balancing my system. If it works I've already decided the post will be entitled "How my hair dresser saved my life" based on connections to this clinic in Atlanta. After paying them a small fortune for slightly unorthodox tests I'm due to start a 4+ day fast. The actual amount of days depends on progress during the fast. It's not a true fast as I'll be drinking water, veggie broth, and taking vitamins but it's the most extreme thing I will have done so far. If I'm being honest I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing. I stand to drop a significant amount of weight, energy, and ability to care for myself. Luckily I have good friends that are willing to pitch in and do store runs for me. I've recruited my mother for quick apartment cleanings - don't look at me like that, she loves to clean - so I think I have most of my bases covered. Amazon Prime will be my savior for tv shows and there's no shortage of books waiting to be read either. I think what I'm most concerned about is if this is just the next thing to try that has no affect on my condition. I have other ideas lined up of course, being the planner that I am, but I would really like to be done with all this and get back to being a productive member of society. There are things I want to do people!!!
I toyed fairly seriously with the idea of getting a cat but decided it would be selfish at this point. If there was anything that needed tending to with the new kitty, I wouldn't be able to do much about it. All in good time. Trying to check my needs off the list before adding anyone else's. In the interim I hope to have kitty love by visiting friends. All of the fluff and none of the litter. It's a bit like being an aunt! My intent is to have a Korat one day so I can revel in all the awesomeness of a cat without the allergies.
The weather looks to be pleasant for the next week or so, not too hot, so convalescing at home should be nice enough. I'm supposed to get "sun therapy" every day. That would be unprotected sun exposure to as much skin as possible for 15-30 minutes. {snort} I tried this a couple of weeks ago, knowing the recommendation would be coming, and laid out three days in a row for ten minutes each side. I got all pink and itchy with burn/tan lines and everything after the third day. Aaaaaand done with that experiment. I'll give five minutes a side a go next time and see how that fares. Sheesh. Can you get more pale than that?
Oh and my latest career idea is to be a naturopath. In research mode now. We'll see how it goes. Very excited at the prospect but I'm at least a year out. On a side note, there are no fun pictures to go with this post. Google "Korat" instead and prepare yourself for beautiful gray kitties with green eyes. Cheers!
I found myself some quacks (in Atlanta of all places) to work on zeroing and re-balancing my system. If it works I've already decided the post will be entitled "How my hair dresser saved my life" based on connections to this clinic in Atlanta. After paying them a small fortune for slightly unorthodox tests I'm due to start a 4+ day fast. The actual amount of days depends on progress during the fast. It's not a true fast as I'll be drinking water, veggie broth, and taking vitamins but it's the most extreme thing I will have done so far. If I'm being honest I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing. I stand to drop a significant amount of weight, energy, and ability to care for myself. Luckily I have good friends that are willing to pitch in and do store runs for me. I've recruited my mother for quick apartment cleanings - don't look at me like that, she loves to clean - so I think I have most of my bases covered. Amazon Prime will be my savior for tv shows and there's no shortage of books waiting to be read either. I think what I'm most concerned about is if this is just the next thing to try that has no affect on my condition. I have other ideas lined up of course, being the planner that I am, but I would really like to be done with all this and get back to being a productive member of society. There are things I want to do people!!!
I toyed fairly seriously with the idea of getting a cat but decided it would be selfish at this point. If there was anything that needed tending to with the new kitty, I wouldn't be able to do much about it. All in good time. Trying to check my needs off the list before adding anyone else's. In the interim I hope to have kitty love by visiting friends. All of the fluff and none of the litter. It's a bit like being an aunt! My intent is to have a Korat one day so I can revel in all the awesomeness of a cat without the allergies.
The weather looks to be pleasant for the next week or so, not too hot, so convalescing at home should be nice enough. I'm supposed to get "sun therapy" every day. That would be unprotected sun exposure to as much skin as possible for 15-30 minutes. {snort} I tried this a couple of weeks ago, knowing the recommendation would be coming, and laid out three days in a row for ten minutes each side. I got all pink and itchy with burn/tan lines and everything after the third day. Aaaaaand done with that experiment. I'll give five minutes a side a go next time and see how that fares. Sheesh. Can you get more pale than that?
Oh and my latest career idea is to be a naturopath. In research mode now. We'll see how it goes. Very excited at the prospect but I'm at least a year out. On a side note, there are no fun pictures to go with this post. Google "Korat" instead and prepare yourself for beautiful gray kitties with green eyes. Cheers!
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