Halfway There

I bought a scale last month because even though I felt like I was losing weight my clothes were getting more and more uncomfortable. It got to the point that I couldn't wear any pants, shorts, or fitted skirts.  Thank goodness it is summer.  I can hike up skirts higher to accommodate my ballooned waste and wear loose dresses.  Trouble was, I didn't have very many of either of those.  Instead of buying a fat bloat wardrobe I actually ended up borrowing a friend's maternity outfit that she didn't need anymore.  The pants were amazing (even if too short) because of that fabulous, gigantic front panel.  It was supportive but not tight like pantyhose can be.  It reminds me of an episode of a comedy show where the wife gives her husband "Thanksgiving pants" so he can be comfortable at the holiday table while stuffing himself stupid.  They were maternity slacks of course.  Brilliant.  I did end up buying three new dresses, one mu-mu-ish and two with drop wastes that had ruching and/or gathering.  I think I can survive the summer now.  If this is still an issue in the Autumn I'll have to reassess.  Maybe a wool mu-mu?  I'd better work on my sewing skills

Day 3 - 148.8 lbs
In mid-June I was ~165 lbs so to me the loss of four pounds over the past few days is not as dramatic as what I know I was a little over a month ago.  I fit a bit better into pants but not enough to want to wear them for more than an hour.  You'd think that fifteen pounds would make a difference.  Mind you, pre-bloating extravaganza my clothes fit at 165 lbs.  Anyway, cooped up in my apartment it doesn't matter what I wear as no one is here to see me.  I still try to get out once a day and it's bittersweet.  Lovely to be moving around in the fresh air but still surprising how hard simple things are - like crossing the street before the signal goes.  Felt much better as the day went on, my headache subsiding to its usual dull ache by the end of the day instead of a raging inferno of stabbing pain.  The only real ordeal was meeting my neighbor's crazy dogs at the elevator again.  In April they attacked me as I left the elevator and they were going in.  Thank goodness they were leashed as I escaped with a raking instead of bites as the walker attempted to rein them in.  This time I was more lucky.  I recognized them and said, "No! Not again!", and backed into the elevator (where I had been standing) as far as I could.  The walker heard me just as the dogs went berzerk and pulled them back before they could get me.  Phew!  I notified management both times and the first time they said they didn't have any dogs that matched my description (I sent a picture) living in the building and without knowing what apartment they were in they couldn't do much.  They have yet to respond to this incident.  I've decided to make a formal complaint.  It's just not okay to feel unsafe where I live.  The rest of the evening went rather well.  I actually had some energy and felt more normal - or at least more of what I think normal should feel like.  But that could have been adrenaline...

Day 4 - 148.6 lbs
I still feel chipper so I'm taking that as a good sign.  I definitely need the sunglasses while indoors still, but if that's what it takes to keep the headache monster at bay, I'm all for it.  The mountain is out and the sky is a blue haze.  Going to be lovely today and I can't help but be jealous of all the lucky people out hiking and/or camping right now.  Heck, even playing frisbee.  Soon I tell you... Soon!  The check-in yesterday was a little disappointing.  I get to check in with them every day now until they decide to stop the liquid diet.  I asked them what parameters they use to determine the end of the fast and they avoided answering the question.  They do that a lot and it drives me crazy.  It does nothing to instill confidence in them and I've never been a blind follower.  I need information people!  I've already decided that I won't be re-upping after two months.  They want you in for six and I think it's all about money at that point.  So far there's nothing they've done that wasn't on my doc's agenda (maybe I already whined about this?) and what they have done has been oodles more expensive.  My doc was waiting for my gut to settle down before doing a fast but that never happened.  So here I am.

If I didn't feel so light-headed and woozy I'd consider a liquid diet long term as absolutely nothing has made me feel decent for twenty-four hours in the last two years.  Scary thought.  If nothing else, this brief reprieve has allowed me to think that health is in sight and perhaps being able to go back to work at the end of August is possible.  Shocking!