Pumpkin Eater

Day 16 - 145.6 lbs
Made an executive decision again and ruled in sea vegetables, rice flour, and coconut aminos.  So I made veggie avocado nori rolls and spring rolls in rice wrappers.  No pickled ginger or Thai peanut sauce to accompany but coconut aminos with wasabi powder really hit the spot.

Day 17 - 145.8 lbs
No recollection of this day.  This is what I get for waiting too long in-between posts.  I've been spending a lot of time writing down the recipes out of Crazy Sexy Kitchen for later use.  It's been fun looking at how all the ingredients are used to make new dishes.  I'd say that almost all of them are too complicated by half.  There are frequently a full page of ingredients with ten steps or more to complete.  And several of those ingredient lists include finish recipes from other pages for similarly complicated sauces or bases.  It's nice to have complicated meals every once and again but the ratio is way off in my opinion.

Day 18 - 146.6 lbs
Check-in day.  Along with the usual details required (weight, symptoms, changes) I tried to be as specific as possible with requests for information.  I want a plan overview, milestones, anything to tell me where I am and where I'm going.  I've asked for this information before to no avail.  The questions are either ignored or brushed off with vague replies and regurgitations of basic nutritional jargon.  It is infuriating.

Day 19 - 145.6 lbs
And then there was fish (twice a week!).  And quinoa (in place of rice, if desired).  So I'm happy about the new diet items but my thirst for knowledge remains unquenched.  I honestly think the guy tried to say something meaningful but, in my mind, failed miserably.  I think this is when I decided to check out mentally.

Day 20 - 145.0 lbs
SALMON!  Baked with lemon slices.  Mmm!

Day 21 - 145.6 lbs
Banner day.  The only person in the world (that I know) who's had to deal with these crazy Atlanta guys and truly understands the food situation and mental craziness of this plan invited me over for lunch.  She made the most lovely quinoa salad and took great care to ensure there was no gluten contamination during meal prep.  One of her kids has some allergies so she gets that aspect too.  I brought her some green juice I'd made playing with my new juicer and we took a turn in the garden harvesting some goodies for me to take home.  Such a treat!  It was like a vacation!  My favorite was some fresh oregano and a mystery plant that tasted like lemons.

We chatted about our experiences and commiserated over the lack of support and knowledge during the fasting/detox process.  She even pulled up some of her old emails.  They're almost verbatim to mine with requests for a plan and tangible milestones.  So it appears the responses I've been getting are totally part of the modus operandi for these people and they really don't care about milestones or real information.  This made me feel like checking out was a justified idea and sent me further on the path to leaving the Atlanta program mentally.

Day 22 - 145.6 lbs
I've heard it said it takes three weeks to form a habit.  Leave it to me to break on Day 22.  I think driving for my play date on Day 21 (and chatting for a few hours) exhausted me considerably.  I didn't sleep well and woke feeling slightly unwell.  I sipped my morning green juice slowly and later had some sautéed veggies before going on my daily outing.  Much to my despair, I started to feel pain and nausea.  My mood darkened and I was desperate for relief.  Instead of going home and resting in misery I tried to find some weird flours for a gluten free seitan recipe I researched online.  The result was no weird flours in stock and a boatload of cheater food to take home and tempt me.  The entire ride home I tried to think on all the reasons I should stick to the diet plan as outlined.  I tried to remember the really bad pain and nausea days and how that was likely all related to eating things my gut couldn't handle.  I'm supposed to be babying my gut, not throwing sugar and protein at it.  Once home I caved.  Hard.  I started things off with a gluten free, dairy free chocolate whoopie pie.

Oh my whoopie.

It was amazing.  The best thing I've eaten in ages.  I tried to feel guilty but couldn't.  So naturally I didn't stop there and continued my cheating spree with some Soyrizo, vegan chorizo fried up to warm (not super amazing but spicy!), along with baking my favorite gluten free, dairy free cheese pizza.  I put fresh basil all over it and ate the enter thing.  I cannot express to you the sense of satisfaction I had finishing that meal.  So I "rewarded" myself with the best brand of gluten free but real ice cream sandwich.  Cherry cheesecake ice cream in a chocolate sandwich.  B-L-I-S-S.  The carrot cake one is still my favorite but I hadn't tried this one yet and it did not disappoint.  Full enough to actually belch I laid down for a pity party nap.

And so far so good.  No weird pains, nausea or vomiting as direct consequence.  We'll see how tomorrow goes.  Hopefully I won't go off the deep end again.  I think I'm safe from that but I wish sugar wasn't so darn comforting.